English Blog

            Holden is usually trustworthy when it comes to the big picture. However, he is most untrustworthy with details. For example, in chapter one Holden says the following: “I have no wind, if you want to know the truth. I’m quite a heavy smoker for one thing-that is, I used to be. They made me cut it out. Another thing, I grew six and a half inches last year. That’s how I practically got t.b. and came out here for all those goddam checkups and stuff. I’m pretty healthy, though.” In this statement, Holden conveys a big picture that is true but adds false details. Being a heavy smoker and almost getting t.b. are not qualities one finds in a healthy person; not even a “pretty healthy” person. Much of the time Holden starts out telling the truth and then adds a lie at the end to reassure whomever he is talking to or to make what he is saying sound more dramatic. In addition, Holden often begins or ends a sentence with, “if you want to know the truth.” In other words, he is saying: “If you really have to know the truth I’ll tell it to you.” This suggests that Holden is not inclined to tell the truth in the first place; this shows that he can sometimes be untrustworthy, even with the big picture. Also, Holden started out describing how he could barely make it across the street because he is such a heavy smoker and then ended his thought with a detail that was a lie. In this case, Holden is trying to reassure whom ever he is talking to (his therapist) by mentioning that he is “pretty healthy”, even if that is not true. Holden’s statement is misleading because he waits until the end to mention the one small detail about how he is really “pretty healthy.” This detail is very important because the statement implies that Holden is in fact, not healthy.  When Holden begins talking, one is inclined to believe him, but the more he talks, the more ridiculous his stories become. Therefore, although Holden is usually trustworthy, when it comes to details he cannot be trusted.

            We are all self-conscious.  It is impossible not to be, given the way women are currently portrayed in the media. All the models in the magazines are too skinny and all the actresses are losing weight to achieve their ideal of “beautiful.”   I looked up “beautiful” in the dictionary and this is what I found: “having beauty; having qualities that give great pleasure or satisfaction to see, hear, think about, etc.; delighting the senses or mind.”  When I think of beauty, I also think of all the people who don’t really care what they look like.  All those who say, “here I am, take me or leave me.”   To me, that is beautiful.  A woman who can stand up for her appearance, whether it is considered “beautiful” or not, is a true beauty.  When I was looking at all the definitions of beauty, I noticed that they never addressed beauty on the inside.  For me, beauty on the inside is the most important thing of all.  To be honest, when I see twenty-one year old models that weigh eighty or ninety pounds, I do not think “beauty” at all.   In fact, I think the exact opposite, ugly.  Women who starve themselves to achieve what is considered the “right” way to look, are actually not beautiful at all.   I hope no one is so self-conscious that she would go to such extremes as starving herself to be considered “beautiful.”  In today’s world it is a sad reality and we must all face it and say, “here I am; take me or leave me.”

 This September eighteenth, is my big sister’s sixteenth birthday. I cannot believe it. Katie has grown up so fast. I know, I know, I sound like her mother; but there is no way to describe what it is like to watch your older sister grow up. I used to think she was not old but now I realize I was wrong. She is so amazing and she astounds me each day that she gets up and does what she loves to do. She does not care what anyone else thinks about her or her way of life. She lets people take her for who she is or leave her; and no matter the outcome, she is always happy. She is one of those people who might seem awkward and shy at first but when you get to know her, she is an astonishing person. I aspire to be just like her because she is okay with who she is and she is the kind of person who will not change for anyone. She also gets such pleasure out of small things in life. I admire her so much even though I may not always show it. I can only hope that some day I can be as great as she is. I am my own person and no matter how much I would like to be my sister, I cannot. Katie is amazing and she may not know how much I love her and admire her for all that she does. All sisters, young and old, have their moments when they are not the best people in the world but 99.9% of the time they are pretty amazing people.

Sitting on the cold wet grass

Midnight black sky above,

Waiting to hear all the sass

But hearing all the love.

Realizing this was the end

We would never be together again

Many emails we would send,

But the boys eventually turn into men.

The girls become women,

The song plays in the background

Remembering when they were ten,

The white noise, that sound.

Hugs and goodbyes passed around,

Wishing for just one more moment to tell him

No one lost, everyone found

Indeed, we were like kin.

I knew that was my last chance

To tell him how I really felt,

Remembering that first dance

My heart it did melt.

Back to him I ran,

Hoping not to see what I knew I would

He is now a man

I should have done it when I could.

We could have grown old together,

Seen how to be a couple

Our love light as a feather

Our lives so supple.

Now it is too late

He and I will never be

We never had our date,

I guess I will never see

The song still rings in my mind

My eyes closed, my head curled, (Around his shoulder)

The tune I still find,

“ What a Wonderful World.”

~Annie

            I start to jog, my feet pounding the pavement, thinking how long will this journey be. As our team rounds the first corner, I think one down four to go.  I take a deep breath and keep jogging. “A little faster now” I say to myself, “faster.” I can feel the pain in my side beginning to build.  My teammates are calling out to me telling me to keep going and push forward.  My calves begin to burn and I know we aren’t even halfway done.  I pass a girl in front of me to see how much farther until the next corner.  I can not see the next corner. All I can see is an endless road in front of me. Feet will soon trample this endless untouched road.  I glance down to the feet in front of me and watch their endless motion. I feel as though I can no longer jog so I begin to power walk. I see the group of girls vanish in front of me. All of a sudden, I hear thumping footsteps coming up behind me. The sound becomes slower and softer. It is another one of my teammates.  Before I can say a word we both hear our other teammates voices telling us to push through we only have ten yards left.  I can’t believe it so I begin to jog again.  After jogging ten yards, I see that we are not at the school and that it is just up the street. I begin to run my feet hitting the pavement hard, my lungs and calves burning, my heart racing.  I can see the gate now; I know I am so close.  I run through the gate into the parking lot and gasp for air. After regaining my breath, I look to the girl who was running with me until the end, a true friend.

    Upon arriving home from our weeklong trip, I decided to practice my piano.  I sat down on my mahogany red piano bench and let my hands rest on the black and white keys. As my hands caressed the keys, I could already hear the music before I started playing. I found the sound of john Lennon’s Imagine to be quite soothing.  I began to rock back and forth to the tune as I played. My foot was the rhythm on the petal and my hands were the beat on the keys. I opened my eyes and continued to play.  The introduction was ending the song beginning: “ Imagine there’s no heaven, it’s easy if you try.”  The movement of my hands was brainless, I did not have to think to play I could feel it. Then all to soon, before I could realize it I was playing the last line of the song: “…and all the world will live as one.” After I was finished playing, I just sat there on my mahogany red piano bench and thought.  I thought about the songs meaning. I concluded that imagination is a great thing and that a perfect world cannot live without it.  Needless to say, many people in the world believe in imagination and many do not. However, I believe that for a perfect world to exist one of the key factors is for everyone to believe in imagination.

Fog comes like the smell of my mother’s homemade apple pie.

As black as my dogs nose

As black as my leather couches

As black as the keys on my piano

As black as my two pupils

As black as space

As black as the hands on my mother’s grandfather clock

As black as my back pack

As black as the ink from the pen on the white page

As black as my trash can

As black as the burnt candle wick

The candle starts young and fresh, the wick white and untouched. Then the orange and

yellow flame, the candle is lit and the wick is slowly becoming black. As the candle wax is

dwindling the flame begins to flicker: once, twice, then the flame is gone. All that is left of

the once young and beautiful candle is the desolate, chalk-board black wick.